Remember me? That vegan bird?
OK, I admit I’ve been more than a little slack lately. Did I say slack? I meant AWOL.
I hardly know where to begin to explain it all. Above all, I hope all of you have stuck around to find out what’s been going on.
Life is characteristically punctuated with peaks and troughs, and let’s just say that I had temporarily taken up residence in Troughville. Big time.
Low mood. A lack of direction. Struggling for inspiration. Several computer explosions.
I broke my left arm.
I mean, if you’re going to do it, why not break two, rather than just one. I’m nothing if not efficient.
How did I do it? I fell off a bike which I had hired only 2 hours before, and had ridden for a matter of minutes.
To be more specific, I manifested it. How?
By spending the entire week before whittling about not wanting to ride a bike. I knew my friends were going to, so I had to do it. I even tried to hire a tricycle, but apparently, they are more dangerous.
So I avoided the three-wheel version. I mean, I wouldn’t want to have an accident just 6 days before my 40th birthday, now, would I? That would be tragic.
So there you have it: another example of the power of the Law of Attraction. The lengths I’ll go to to prove it to people, eh?
In practical terms, my 6-week incapacity extended to not being able to drive, no squash and no tennis. In fact, no exercise apart from walking, which I did. A lot.
But now I’m back. Back on the tennis court, back in the pool and back at the keyboard (the squash will have to wait a little longer). My left arm still looks like a twig, but I’m getting there.
It’s been a challenging experience, but as with everything, there are always plenty of positives to be drawn.
Within minutes of breaking it, I knew there was a reason for it – the Universe was, quite literally, telling me to take a break and to step back. And for once, I had no choice but to comply.
So, what are the positives, then? For one, I have certainly found out who my friends are. You know, the people who will come round and tie your shoes laces for you, sharpen your eye liner, harvest your sprouts, drive you to the supermarket and ply you with tea and sympathy (or something a little stronger).
Post plaster, I wrote a post on Facebook, naming every person who had shown kindness, and the list was gratifyingly long. I have some great people around me. I always knew that, but it doesn’t do any harm to be reminded of that.
According to the various professionals who have been involved in the repair of my arm, it is far stronger than it was expected to be at such an early stage.
Right from the start, I was determined that it would be the fastest healing arm in history, and after a few days of getting over the shock and resigning myself to 6 weeks of enforced pedestrianisation, I embarked on a healing program that I dreamed up myself, using all the knowledge about nutrition I have amassed to date.
Without doubt, I have to credit my rapid recovery with every facet of this regime, which comprised the following:
1. Upping my intake of raw food, which amounted to my usual Hippocrates Green Juice and wheatgrass late morning. Packed with the kind of protein that the body absorbs relatively effortlessly, it’s top on the list for repair jobs. And now my arm is sans plaster, it’s also helping me to build back my lean muscle mass. Evenings would generally involve a salad packed with sprouts and greens. Ok, so it might also have involved a jacket potato, but I needed both the comfort and the carbs.
2. My daily FIR sauna. Great for helping to heal bones. And yes, it did penetrate the plaster.
3. Walking. Not only did this stop me from losing my mind completely, but it was one of the only ways that I could keep my lymph moving, which is key to the body’s repair system.
4. Listening to vibrational music on You Tube. There are stacks of different ones to choose from, and they help cell and DNA regeneration and repair by vibrating at between 400 and 550 MHZ. For others, just type in “vibrational music” on You Tube.
5. Meditation. Now, admittedly, I’m not the most dedicated of meditators, and I can’t claim to have done this daily. But for those of you who struggle like me, I would recommend the Abraham-Hicks guided meditations to start with. They’re all on You Tube. One of my favourites is the one for physical well-being.
6. Homeopathic remedies. Two in particular. But there’s no point in me telling you the names of them, as just as with all homeopathy, the remedies given take into consideration the whole of your history, both physical and emotional. So you could end up with something completely different to me.
And now, post-plaster…
1. Physiotherapy. Several times daily, along with warm soaks. If there’s one way to regain flexibility and build strength as fast as possible, it’s this. But that’s only because I chose to do it. I was told (very unwisely, in my opinion) by the NHS that I didn’t need physio (a perfect example of cost-cutting). But luckily for me, I have a friend who is a physiotherapist, and within hours of having my plaster off, she was round my house, writing me a list of exercises to do. And then she booked me in to the private hospital where she works to continue with more. Even after only a few hours of being plaster-free, I could do he majority of the exercises, which is apparently unheard of. So I must have been doing something right!
2. Swimming. At least 20 lengths a day. It’s working wonders.
3. Tiger Balm. I’ve used this traditional Thai cure-all remedy before, but I’m astounded by the effect it’s had on my arm in terms of bringing down the swelling and easing the stiffness. It also helps that I love the smell of it, but rather oddly, Eric likes licking my arm whenever I’ve put it on. He also has a penchant for Vicks. He clearly has a camphor fetish, but who am I to judge?
4. Weights. If you could see how puny my left arm and hand are, you would understand. It doesn’t take long to lose muscle mass, but considerably longer to regain it, apparently.
So, there you have it. Your complete guide to mending broken bones faster than the speed of light.
But my advice is not to do it in the first place.
And let it be said: I. AM. NEVER. RIDING. A. BIKE. AGAIN.