So, here we are. The start of a new year. 2015, to be precise.
AKA the year I turn 40.
And in only a few weeks’ time, for that matter.
Now, before you make any assumptions about the contents of this post, let me set you straight immediately: it’s not going to be a (dictatorial) list of all the things you need to be doing from now on to feel better, healthier, fitter and younger.
I’m not even going to mention wheatgrass. Or sprouts. Or green juices. Not once.
Because you already know about all of that in principle. And you either want to do them, or you don’t.
And anyway, nothing in life should be about “should” or any other form of effort or obligation. See what I did there? I just couldn’t think of another word.
What I am writing about today is what I want to change for myself, from RIGHT NOW. And hopefully, all or some of it may be useful for you too.
Today’s theme fits in kind of nicely with one of the best Christmas presents I received – from Claire and Dave, of TFI Monday, my website and on-line marketing duo.
It’s a workbook, complete with nifty wallplanner, called the “Life + Biz Edition Workbook”, by Leonie Dawson Not only does it guide you through the goal-setting process for the next year in your business and personal life, but it’s also illustrated in the kind of quirky style I love.
Plus, it also encourages you to write down all the things that you loved and didn’t love quite so much about 2014, as well as what you learned from it all.
Having sat there admiring it for the last week, all I need to do now is write in it. And I will. Just as soon as I’ve finished writing this.
So let’s crack on. In 2015, I am going to:
Start telling things as I want them to be, rather than perhaps how they are. This is an Abraham-Hicks principle, based on the law of nature that the Universe does not know the difference between “what-is” and how you would actually like things to be. As humans, we have a natural, in-built tendency to focus on the physical, i.e. what’s in front of us, and what the current “reality” is. Whether it’s good or bad, “what-is” is what we talk about to others. And in doing so, we unwittingly perpetuate more of that scenario, whether we want it or not. So from now on, when there’s something in front of me that isn’t how I want it to be, I’m not even going to mention it. I’ll either say nothing, or paint the picture that I want instead. I know it will feel unnatural at first. And, as with most of us, the temptation to relate negative aspects to others is pretty strong. But my dear friend and Abraham-Hicks aficionado Kim always stops me mid-sentence on such occasions and says: “Do you want more of that? Do you?”
Start telling a different story about myself. Because again, just as above, if you tell a negative story about yourself, you are only helping that story to be a continuing reality. “This always happens to me”; “I’m a bad person”. Sound familiar?
See only the positive aspects of others. Yep, even when someone has really p****d me off. Because as with points 1 and 2, if you choose to focus on their best attributes – even when you can’t see them at the time – it’s what you will get more of. I know someone who has completely transformed her relationship with a relative she was at loggerheads with for years by doing this. And in spite of the long-standing negative history, the situation has done a complete double-cartwheeling U-turn in an amazingly short space of time. Think of someone you would like to chuck snowballs at with rocks cunningly hidden in the middle. And then practise this on them (the thoughts, not target practice). And keep doing it. You will see change for the better, I promise.
Focus on my achievements, rather than my failures. I’ve had a life-long habit of immediately forgetting all the times when I succeeded. Instead, I zoom in on the things I didn’t achieve. For instance: my daily to-do list. Always comprising far more items than is humanly possible to get done. So why do I only remember the things which didn’t get done, rather than the (always) vast majority I did?
Ignore the judgement of others, whatever it is. See, thing is, NO ONE knows what it’s like to have lived every second of your life up to now. It’s impossible. Ergo, they cannot possibly know that if they had lived every second of that life that they wouldn’t have done, said or thought the very same thing. And as Abraham-Hicks would say, it’s not “their pie”.
Avoid judging others and leaping to erroneous conclusions. As Kim said to me the other day, you cannot make assumptions about why someone has or has not done or said something. There is always a reason, and that isn’t necessarily yours to know. Fair point.
Trust in the divine timing of the Universe. I cannot tell you how many times I have been grateful that something I was aiming for did not happen right at the moment I wanted it to. And when it did, I understood why it happened when it happened. `And the situation was invariably all the better for it. Not an easy one for someone as impossibly impatient as me, but ultimately, I know it’s true. The Universe will NEVER fail you. Scout’s honour, and all that.
Tell myself every day that I’m doing ok, and that everything – no matter how apparently dissatisfactory it may seem at the time – is all ok.
To allow. Perhaps the biggest challenge of all for me. If you know anything about the principles of Abraham-Hicks, you will already understand that you have only two jobs: to ask for something, and then to allow it. It’s not up to you to worry about or consider the finer details, such as the how, the who, the what, or the when. That is the role of the Universe. If you fret about those things, all you are doing it resisting what you have asked for and holding it back from your experience so it stays away from you for longer. Why make life difficult? Simply ask, then stand back, let go, and trust.
Meditate. Daily. True, that’s something I’ve promised myself a gazillion times in the last few years, but I know when I actually have got into the habit – even if only for 2 weeks – that it’s made such a difference to me and those around me. As you probably already know, I’m a devotee of Headspace, an app which you can download on to your phone or tablet. And when I say devotee, I mean I dip in and dip out. But I am doing it. From now on. Just 10 minutes while I’m in the sauna. Every day. I’ll probably be mixing it up with the Abraham-Hicks guided meditations which are freely available on You Tube – try the ones on well-being, finances and relationships.
Learn how to be my own best friend. What??!?! Yes, I know. I can’t see me as an outside person, so I’m not sure how to do this. But God knows I need to. I’m pretty mean to myself most of the time, using the excuse that it’s only doing that which gives me the drive to achieve. Maybe a cardboard cut-out is required while I get used to things.
Stay away from people and situations who leave me feeling anything less than happy. Come on, you know these people; the energy vampires; the people who find it more natural to pee on your parade, rather than help you to celebrate your finest hour. Don’t get me wrong; we all have periods when we clash with people who are close to us, but if you spot a pattern, it’s probably best to move on, without really saying much about it. They will either change their behaviour, or they won’t. If they do, then great. But if they don’t, then you can rest safe in the knowledge that you took care of yourself.
Wholly trust my inner gut/emotional guidance system. It’s there for a reason.
Remember there is nothing I cannot be, do or have.
I think that’s plenty to be going on with. But having flirted with all of these things before, I already know what a real difference they can all make, and sometimes within a matter of days.
Why not give some of them a bash yourself?
Happy 2015, everyone. x